“The old feminine mystique – the idea that women are not capable beyond the home – has pretty much broken down. But there are some new mystiques. One I call the “hottie mystique” – the idea being sold to young women that you can indeed do anything the men can, but only if you constantly display how “hot” you are at the same time. Another is the mothering mystique – which tells slightly older women that they too can be anything they want in the work world but that they also have to be super-moms besides, and if they can’t do everything perfectly they should opt out.
The mommy mystique is the flip side of what sociologists Phyllis Moen and Patricia Roehling call the “career mystique” – the idea that a successful career requires you to be constantly available, more than full-time, to the demands of work… These mystiques create higher levels of work-family conflict in America – for both men and women. In fact men now report higher work-family conflict than women do. Paradoxically, you might say that one of the biggest gains of the women’s movement is that many of the issues we face today are no longer confined primarily to women but must be solved on behalf of BOTH sexes.”—Stephanie Coontzon why feminism has been good for romance. (via poptech)
my day consisted of buses and anthropology readings. here are some random thoughts..
first off, why do i go to school in michigan? i pay out of state tuition to go somewhere with HARSHER winters in chicago. now, i initially thought this was not a problem when i sent my acceptance letter to msu, but now i hate snow, despite my former love for it. why do i hate snow? because my fatass high school self never fucking walked anywhere and now all i do is walk.
but to solve the walking dilemma, i bought a bus pass, which makes my life slightly easier. however, there are a few problems with the buses here:
1. after i bought my books, i needed to take the 33 to go back to my apartment and sleep. because it was snowing, the bus was packed. i thought that maybe i would have to wait for the next bus, but decided to try anyway. i wait in line and the bus driver closes the door in my face after the person before me gets in. mind you, i was the last in line. either i’m invisible, or that bus driver is a sadist.
2. i still have to wait outside for the bus…
3. the buses are crowded in the winter. i sat between two oversized bus patrons on one of my bus rides. it was either that, or standing and holding on to an overhead bar that i cannot reach.
4. my inability to hold onto said bar without getting tired shows that i need a workout.
5. the routes are so fucked up, but i mean, this is mainly my fault. the 33 goes to the union and then is a route to holden hall. holden is on the opposite side of campus from my apartment. so to get to my apartment from the union, i have to take the bus all the way to holden and then back. however, this could easily have been solved by a) walking from the union to my apartment or b) getting off at the station and just taking a bus that was headed toward the union. but i am a lazy fuck.
Day one: a photo of you. Day two: a photo of yourself at least a year ago. Day three: a photo that makes you happy. Day four: a photo of a place you’d like to visit. Day five: a photo that makes you laugh. Day six: a photo of someone you love. Day seven: a photo of something you stand for. Day eight: a photo of something you enjoy doing. Day nine: a photo of yourself when you were a baby. Day ten: any photo you like for any reason. Day eleven: a photo of a night you loved. Day twelve: a photo of when you were happy. Day thirteen: a photo of one of your favorite movies. Day fourteen: a photo of your best friend (s). Day fifteen: a photo of you and a family member. Day sixteen: a photo from your childhood. Day seventeen: a photo from a trip you’ll never forget. Day eighteen: a photo of your town. Day nineteen: a photo of your favorite thing from school. Day twenty: a photo of something you ate today. Day twenty-one: a photo of somebody you find attractive. Day twenty-two: a photo that you associate a good memory with. Day twenty-three: a photo of something you want to do someday. Day twenty-four: a photo of what you want to be when you grow up. Day twenty-five: a photo that inspires you. Day twenty-six: a photo of your favorite subject in school. Day twenty-seven: a photo of something you are looking forward to. Day twenty-eight: a photo of something/somebody that made your day. Day twenty-nine: a photo of your favorite person from history. Day thirty: a photo you find beautiful
do you ever get to the point when you know you're probably going to fail an exam mid-way through, so you just write whatever the fuck you want because you're too lazy to even read the questions anymore?
i apologize, but i really can’t afford to take into account what people think anymore. being liked by many people is overrated. i’d rather just have four or five people who really, really love me and think i’m awesome. so, sorry if you don’t find me doing anything to please you or ways to do so. it’s just not something i can make myself do anymore.
the past few months, i have been in a deep depression. i felt like i didn’t have anyone to fall back on and i was just all alone. my anxiety got worse, and i just felt like i didn’t know myself anymore.
i had a turning point this past week, though. i recently told people about this depression and was amazed and very grateful at the people who were there for me.
i may not have the most friends, but i do have the best.
so, what i’m saying is…
i’m done trying to be friends with people who don’t care enough about me to a) ask me how i’m doing or b) let me know when something i do bothers them, so instead of telling me how they feel, they just drop me.
i’m done trying to please everyone. i’m only going to please me.
i’m done trying to be there for people who don’t care if i’m there or not.
i’m done bending over backwards to make you happy, when i can’t even make myself happy.
i’m done thinking of the past or what could have been.
I love that "in the beginning" feeling where everything is perfect. You like them. They like you. Texting twenty four seven. Saying good morning, saying goodnight. Then you start using cute little pet names. Then it gets to the awkward stage where you're not sure exactly what you are. Then once you figure it out, it all goes down hill from there. All the excitement is gone. All the passion is wasted. Everything you once were has just faded to lies and bullshit. I hate love.
I just think people should know that that isn’t love.
That “head over heels, excited” feeling is called passion - which is just surprise and infatuation. Thus, once you know someone for a long time, the surprise is gone, meaning the passion is gone.
When you really love someone, it doesn’t matter if all the passion is gone or not. You’re still genuinely happy to be with them, and can deal with all that passion being gone.
If you’re looking for a relationship filled with non-stop passion, you’re not going to find it and you’re just fucking up relationships that could potentially be amazing. You’re searching for something unrealistic. You’re setting yourself up for failure. You’re, in short, a masochist.
day 12- how you found out about tumblr and why you made one
I don’t know how I found out about tumblr, but I made one in an attempt to get my thoughts in order. I don’t know? I later found out I rarely wrote in it, and just followed a bunch of people instead and read their thoughts. Boo.
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
YES. I love this shit.
happy: "you make my dreams" - hall & oates, "feelin’ groovy" - simon & garfunkel, any beach boys song, but specifically "then i kissed her," "don’t worry, baby" and "wouldn’t it be nice," "funny little frog" - belle & sebastian, "she’s got you high" - mumm-ra, "5 years time" - noah & the whale, "1901" - phoenix, "the longest time" - billy joel
sad: anything by jeff buckley, elliott smith and bon iver, “vienna” - billy joel, “ol’ 55” - tom waits, “hero” - regina spektor, “good feeling” - violent femmes, “maybe” - janis joplin, “fighters” - lupe fiasco, “casimir pulaski day” - sufjan stevens, “springfield, or bobby got shadfly caught in his hair” - sufjan stevens, “rewind” - paolo nutini, “the district sleeps alone” - the postal service, “soundtrack 2 my life” - kid cudi, “atlantic city” - bruce springsteen
bored: anything by she & him, kid cudi, atmosphere or bloc party
hyped: "working for the weekend" - loverboy, anything by bon jovi, girl talk or the hood internet, "born in the usa" - bruce springsteen, "glory days" - bruce springsteen, "keep it goin’ louder" - major lazer, top 40 hits
mad: uhh, i am never mad. and when i am, i don’t listen to music. i just listen to the sound of myself breathing heavily and slowly in an attempt to calm myself down.
okay, for real - i need to chill the fuck out. i feel like i’m always stressed about something. so i need to take a deep breath and calm down, and tell myself that whatever i’m stressing about means nothing.
honestly, i think it’s because it’s summer and i don’t have anything to do. so, i’m depressed because i just think about shit. hopefully, when school starts, i’ll be out of this insecure bubble i’ve been hiding under. blah.
i used to not be this insecure. i don’t know what’s wrong. yuck. i just feel like i’ve never looked worse in my entire life. ew. stopppp. this is not me.
in good news, today was really fun. i went to lincoln park and got molly’s cupcakes. soooo good. i missed that shit like crazy. i suggest the brown butter or cream cheese frosting. yum.